Amy Kulp

Midnight Musings: A Picture Perfect Life?

Amy Kulp
Midnight Musings: A Picture Perfect Life?

Hey there readers!

It's been a hot minute since I've written a blog, let alone a non bridal blog, and I've had a few little thoughts on my mind for the past few days, and I think it's about time I share them with everyone (or at the very least, my 10 subscribers- hi mom!).

For those of you who don't know much about me, I'm currently about 40 days away from graduating with a BFA in Fashion Marketing and Management from Savannah College of Art and Design (a bougey sounding major, I know). I'm also 77 days away from marrying the love of my life back in South Florida, where we grew up! It's a crazy time in life, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

But with all this excitement comes an undeniable level of pressure. There's a lot of pressure to look like life is all put together and going smoothly. We have Instagram influencers and beauty vloggers and celebrities that make it seem as though if you aren't jet setting around the world, wearing designer clothing with a full face of makeup and perfect nails that you aren't living life right. We have bridal bloggers and Pinterest that make it seem as though having a $35,000 is "skimping" and that if you don't have custom napkins, a full bar, and floral installations, you're getting married wrong. (FYI- you're not)

Over the last few months, I've been trying to work on my image on Instagram and coming up with content for my blog (which took another pause while I worked on my senior capstone). As much as I love Instagram, scrolling through it can be a bit disheartening. Especially coming from an art school, everyone is constantly putting up pictures of themselves in their fancy clothes in these crazy photo shoots on their weekend getaways to New York City or wherever and while that's perfectly fine if you are given these opportunities, it can lead to a lot of false expectations for a college student (or high schooler or young adult for that matter). Each time I try to come up with a post, I think "this is so stupid" "My life is so boring". I hold back on posting photos of myself because I'm scared that I'm too short, too awkward, or that I don't look "model-y" enough. I fear that what I find interesting or what I do isn't exciting enough to share with the world, or that the picture I just took doesn't perfectly match my "grid's aesthetic" (whatever that means).

A realistic take of what happens when I try to take an "artsy" picture for my Insta.

A realistic take of what happens when I try to take an "artsy" picture for my Insta.

I came from a family where neither of my parents graduated from college. I went to a high school that costs almost as much as my college tuition for free since my mom worked there. Everyone around me got a brand new car on their 16th birthday, where I was the one driving my mom's car senior year to school so I wasn't stuck riding the bus my last year of high school. While I complained about uniforms at the time, I look back and am really thankful for them so I wouldn't have to try to fit into the millionaire lifestyle on a part time Chick-fil-A employee salary everyday. And I don't say this all to make anyone feel pity on me or to try and make myself look like I had it so rough, because believe me, I know I was still extremely blessed.

I'm rambling a bit, but my point is, life sometimes isn't perfect. Sometimes you're barely making it by and you're trying desperately to put up a facade so that you don't look weak, or unfashionable, or stupid. Maybe you're 5'0 tall or have a little extra fluff on your stomach or your thighs are a bit rounder than you'd like or your boobs are lopsided. And just because you don't have $800 Louboutins on or are still sitting in your studio apartment on Craigslist furniture watching Full House re-runs on a Saturday night (may or not be doing this right now), doesn't mean you aren't killing the game. Everyone is going to have a different version of success. I think of it as comparing measurements from different systems. Just because something has a higher number doesn't mean its better. You can't compare 20 lbs to 34 in on the same grading scale. And while everyone has heard the whole, "don't judge a book by its cover", you also can't determine someone's success in life based off an Instagram feed.

Maybe life has got you down. Maybe you didn't land the internship of your dreams, maybe you're having financial problems, maybe your family is absolutely nuts and you're just trying to make it through the afternoon without breaking down. You take a look on social media and see half your friends traveling across the world and the other half getting job offers, and you feel like a failure for deciding to move back to your hometown after college to save up more before going after your dreams.

It's okay to take life one day at a time. Everyone has their own demons they don't show on the internet, and that's perfectly fine. I'm sure everyone has read a version or so of this post somewhere on Buzzfeed or the Odyssey, but I've felt compelled to talk about this, and maybe convince myself of it in the process. You may not have life figured out fully right now, but I'm a firm believer in the whole "there's a time and a place for everything". And while it may not make sense now, maybe one day you'll look back and realize why one door never opened. No matter what stage of life you're at, YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. In case you haven't heard that from someone lately, imagine a 5'0 fashion major screaming into a megaphone right at you- "YOU ARE ENOUGH", because that's me.

Well that's enough rambling for one night. Honestly, I don't know if this fully makes sense- but this is what's been on my heart. Maybe it's even a bit of an ironic message (looks aren't everything, don't compare yourself to social media, designer bags don't equal success, etc) when my major is FASHION MARKETING. But hey, if you liked this kind of "pep talk of the week", let me know and I can do more! Or maybe I'll just leave my musings to myself LOL.

Until next time,

Amy